Trust Me (Finding my way) Page 7

  “Besides, she wouldn’t be able to walk properly if she had sex with me,” Tucker winks at me and hi-fives Matt.

  “I really do worry about all the women you sleep with,” I sigh.

  “Why? I always wear a condom,” he replies offended.

  “That may be the case, but do you wear it properly?” I ask now that I have his full attention.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It just concerns me that perhaps you’re not covering the right dick, do you put it on the one between your legs…or the one on your forehead?” I tilt my head to the side as if considering him.

  “Speaking of imaginative body parts, that reminds me…I’m missing some socks did you take them?” he asks smirking

  “What the hell would I do with your socks?” I ask frowning.

  “Trying to compensate for something maybe?” he asks staring pointedly at my chest.

  “You tell me, considering I woke up with your hand wrapped around one,” I raise an eyebrow.

  “You’re right, they’re very real,” he sighs.

  “You two should just have sex and get it over with,” Sophie laughs, putting a stop to our insults.

  “She’s not my type,” Tucker announces.

  “You’re type is anything that can breathe on its own,” Matt snorts

  “No. She’s not nice enough,” he sniffs

  “I’m nice, just not to you” I admit.

  “You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to show me a bit of respect now and again,” he turns to me.

  “How so?” I ask, knowing something ridiculous is coming.

  “You could refer to me as god and the odd curtsey wouldn’t go a miss either,” he nods, as if the decision is made.

  “Hmmm…” I sigh looking up at the ceiling.

  “What?” he follows the direction of my eyes with his own.

  “I’m just wondering whether, after I have killed you, should I roast or fry your body parts before I feed them to the dogs?”

  “See what I mean,” he demands pointing at me “Can’t you just be normal for two minutes?” he asks

  “Fine, but if it takes too much effort, I’m out,” I shrug.

  Sophie and Matt watch us bemused, so I ignore them and pick up my coffee. “Are you walking me to class or what?” I smile sweetly at Tucker.

  “Yeah, let’s go,” he stands and pulls me into him with an arm around my neck.

  “I have tickets for a fight tonight,” I nudge his shoulder with my own as we take our seats in English.

  “Explain this whole fight thing. I don’t get it,” he asks while twirling a pen between his thumb and forefinger.

  “I don’t know exactly,” I shrug “Sophie and I, we usually just go for the party afterwards. Remember when we went to see Heavens Devil’s? Well I’m close with Dave – he’s the one with the little boy that I was on the beach with; he normally gets them for me, but he doesn’t go, so I meet Gavin there. Basically, the fights are held at an old abandoned gym and there’s a bar; it’s a cage fight I think. You can bet on them as far as I know, but we just go for the house party afterwards with the band. You interested?”

  “Yeah,” he shrugs “Should be fun.”

  ***

  “Come on, get up.”

  “Stop shaking me,” I pull the pillow over my head.

  “Fine,” Tucker chuckles, two seconds later he kicks me softly.

  “What do you want?”

  “We’re going out,” he announces and pulls the blanket off me.

  I make a grab for it but he’s too quick “Where are we going? Aren’t you tired?” After the fight last night, we went to the house party and didn’t get in until four this morning.

  “Of course I am.”

  “Then why can’t we stay in bed?” I lift myself up onto my elbows to watch him start the coffee machine.

  “We’re going shopping.”

  “You’re a guy, guys don’t go shopping.”

  “Sure we do, how do you think we get to own things?” he raises an eyebrow at me.

  I think about it for a minute “You get girls to do it for you?”

  “No,” he laughs. “We do it ourselves, well sometimes anyway.”

  “What are we shopping for?” I ask as I climb out of bed to get ready.

  “I was hoping you’d know. It’s my mom’s birthday this weekend.”

  “Dude,” I can’t help but laugh. “You’re twenty one and you can’t pick out a present for your mom on your own?”

  “Did you just call me ‘dude’?”

  “Do you have a penis?”

  “Yeah,” he answers amused.

  “Then you’re a dude” I shrug.

  “Fair enough. Let’s go,” he pulls me out of the room by my arm.

  Six

  “I’m so sorry, Soph” I say for what feels like the hundredth time that day.

  “It’s okay. I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” she assures me while grabbing herself another coffee.

  I know I kept her up most of the night with my tossing and turning; the nightmares were bad last night.

  “I know, but I feel really bad. You’re losing out on sleep and we have exams coming up. I’ll go to the doctor and get some sleeping pills or something.”

  “No, it’s fine. It was only last night that I lost sleep. Don’t go on sleeping pills just for one night out of a week,” she tells me over her shoulder as we head to our usual lunch table where Tucker is already seated.

  “You two look like crap” he grins at us both as we take our seats.

  “My fault,” I wince as I acknowledge the restless night’s effect on us both. “I kept Soph up most of the night”

  “That’s because I wasn’t there,” he jokes but I look down.

  This is something I had already picked up on; it isn’t lost on me that the only night of the week Tucker didn’t stay in our room or I didn’t stay in his, is the night I had nightmares.

  Sophie, after hearing this theory and obviously catching on, whips her head up and frowns at him then turns to me “Oh my god,” she whispers looking back at Tucker.

  “What?” he frowns at her.

  “Nothing,” she says frowning herself.

  “Anyway, what are we doing tonight?” I ask changing the subject as Matt joins us taking his seat next to Sophie and immediately gets into a discussion with Tucker about some party they went to last night.

  “You knew the nightmares stop when Tucker stays with you, didn’t you?” Sophie accuses me quietly enough so the boys can’t hear her. I shrug at her avoiding her eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  I shrug again “Because I can’t explain it”.

  “I think I can,” she says and I snap my eyes to hers. “You have feelings for him. It makes sense, you spend so much time together, and you’ve practically spent every night together since you stayed in his room last week. It was going to happen sooner or later. You need to stop spending so much time with him. I won’t watch you get hurt like all the others.”

  “I don’t have feelings for him. I care about him as a friend, that’s all Soph,” I promise her, flicking my gaze to Tucker.

  “I don’t care. He means too much to you already. He’ll let you down. Everyone is already surprised your friendship has lasted this long and they think it’s only because you are sleeping with him regularly. He’s going to let you down and you’ll be broken. I won’t be able to fix that. I don’t want him staying in our room anymore.”

  I frown at her, “In case you haven’t noticed, Soph, I’m already broken. I’m not asking you to fix me, I can fix myself.”

  “That’s what you call it? You spend every night with Tucker yet every weekend you’re with a different guy at parties.”

  “Excuse me?” I say a bit too loud for our hushed conversation.

  “All I’m saying is that people are starting to think you’re a whore, Brooke,” she says still only loud enough for me to hear, ignoring the fact that guys have stopped talkin
g to watch us.

  “And you?” I ask not believing that she could think such a thing about me; knowing that nothing ever happens between Tucker and me or any other person. The most I do is flirt a little. She shrugs in answer to my question. I stare at her opened mouthed for a second.

  “Is everything okay?” Matt asks from beside us.

  “Everything’s fine,” I say standing up not looking away from Sophie’s accusing eyes. “Looks like I have a reputation to live up to.” I walk away from the table before the tears have a chance to fall. I walk a bit faster when I hear Tucker call after me.

  I skip the rest of my classes that day and head to my mom’s. I know I’m not welcome there and will probably have to pay in some way for turning up uninvited. I don’t care though, maybe I should be punished.

  ***

  Checking through my phone when I’m sat in my car outside the dorm, I skip the messages from Sophie and Tucker, but read the message from Katie inviting me to party in her apartment. Starting my car again, I head over there while quickly tapping out a message to let her know I’m on my way.

  Luke lets me in and I watch as he takes in my appearance. From my knee high black boots, skinny jeans, grey tee with ‘FUCK IT’ printed across my chest, the brown leather jacket to the bright red cut on my lip, and then finally my hair pulled up into a messy high ponytail. “Shots” he says simply grabbing my hand and leading me into the packed kitchen.

  “You know this bad girl look you’re sporting tonight is sexy as hell, right?” I turn at look at guy stood staring down at me.

  “Brooke,” I smile up at him, the alcohol has definitely taken effect now and my teeth have gone numb, I just hope I’m not at the slurring stage.

  “Harry. Are you a friend of Kate’s?”

  “Luke’s,” I shake my head at him, he’s very good looking in a good boy way. He’s wearing black converse and jeans, a dark blue button down shirt with a black tee underneath, his eyes are a mixture of green and blue and his short hair is black, styled into spikes. He grins when he notices me giving him the once over.

  “Not so bad yourself,” I smirk and shrug at him, not embarrassed to be caught looking at him.

  “So how’d you get the cut on your lip?” he asks leaning his hip on the counter next to us.

  “Very long, very boring story,” I tell him touching my lip and sighing when it doesn’t sting.

  “I have a feeling nothing about you is boring,” he smirks at me.

  “Well excitement does seem to follow me around,” I note when I catch sight of Sophie, Matt, and Tucker walking through the front door.

  “Friends of yours?” he asks turning to follow my gaze.

  “Kind of,” I shrug and pick up a bottle of beer.

  “Available?” he asks changing the subject.

  “Yeah, you?”

  He nods his head in answer and I smile at him, “Interesting.”

  “Could be,” he replies making me raise an eyebrow.

  “Number?” his short questions making me grin.

  “Phone?” I ask holding my hand out for him making him grin wider as he hands me his phone. I tap my number into it and hand it back. “Done.”

  “What are you studying then?” he asks, back to using more than one or two words.

  “Business management,” I wince knowing how much hard work it is. “Only a few months left though, thankfully.”

  “I don’t envy you, trust me,” he pours two more shots and hands me one.

  “What about you?” I ask taking the shot

  “Do you have any plans for the rest of the weekend?” he asks, not answering my question.

  “It’s my birthday tomorrow, not sure what I’m doing for it,” I answer honestly. I never celebrate my birthday.

  “I’m sure I could think of something to give you,” he grins at me, taking a step closer so we’re almost touching.

  “Is that so?” I murmur, tilting my head up to look at him. Even with my heels, he’s still a good four inches taller than me.

  “Mmm hmmm,” he whispers leaning down.

  “Brooke!” We jump away from each other at the interruption and I turn to glare at Sophie.

  “Yes?” I ask with a bored expression.

  She frowns at me “What happened to your lip?”

  I shrug, “Seems as though you’re not the only one who thinks I’m a whore,” I tell her and walk out the room, ignoring the questioning look Harry sends me, knowing that he’ll still be calling me tomorrow. “Brooke,” she calls after me, but I ignore it and head out to find Luke.

  Unfortunately, I find him talking to Matt and Tucker on the balcony. I spin around when I see them and start heading somewhere else, but Luke calls me over.

  “Having fun?” he asks, throwing an arm around me.

  “I was,” I grumble and look towards the room I just left where I can see Sophie and Harry now in conversation. The fresh air seems to amplify the alcohol levels in me and I sway slightly.

  “Missed you in class, where did you go?” Tucker asks me, but I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

  Unknown: I try to kiss you and you disappear on me? Told you that you weren’t boring.

  I laugh at the text I know is from Harry. I look up at Tucker and Matt for the first time since joining them. I roll my eyes as I watch them both frown at the same time when they notice my lip, but before they can comment, Sophie walks towards us with Harry following her.

  “I need a drink,” I tell Luke, moving out from under his arm but stumbling slightly.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Matt asks watching me.

  “Sure. According to your girlfriend, I don’t need to drink to do anything stupid. I manage just fine when I’m sober. So why not?” I smile sweetly at him and walk away before Sophie reaches us, pulling Harry along with me.

  “I take it you two have fallen out?” he notes, turning to look at my friends as I pull him back into the apartment.

  “You would be right,” I agree.

  I pull him into the bedroom with me and laugh at his surprised expression when I close the door behind us.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to attack you, just wait here two minutes,” I call over my shoulder as I enter the bathroom. I lock the door just in case; I might be drunk but I’m not stupid and wouldn’t leave myself in a lockable room with a guy I just met. Once I’ve finished in the bathroom I go back into the bedroom but Harry is not where I left him; instead, Tucker is stood by the bed with his arms folded across his chest looking a little angry.

  “Not you too,” I complain, a little shocked that Tucker would think so little of me as well.

  “Not me too, what?” he asks frowning at me still not looking happy.

  “Doesn’t matter,” I shake my head at him defeated. “What happened to Harry?” I sigh looking around the room just in case I missed him.

  “What’s going on with you and Sophie?” he asks ignoring my question.

  “She thinks I’m a whore. Don’t ignore my question.”

  “He’s gone back out there; I told him I needed to speak to you,” he sits on the bed and pats the space beside him. I ignore the invitation and put my hands on my hips waiting for him to get whatever he needs to say to me over with.

  “Please sit, Brooke,” he sighs deeply.

  “I think I’d rather stand for this one. Don’t worry, I’m sure I can handle it, I’m on a roll today so just get on with it,” I wave my hand in a ‘hurry it along’ gesture.

  “Let’s start with your lip. Who hit you? Don’t even try and say you slipped or fell.”

  “This,” I say pointing to my lip, “is the reason Sophie and everyone else, think I’m a whore.”

  “I don’t understand…did Sophie hit you?” he asks, looking confused and shocked.

  “No,” I say quickly, shocked that he would think that.

  “Then I really don’t understand.”

  I sigh and sit down next to him on the bed. “I have nightmares ever
y night, only, they stop when I spend the night with you. I didn’t notice until it happened more than once. Sophie noticed it when you joked earlier that we lost sleep because you weren’t there. She thinks that I’m relying on you and that you’re going to let me down and leave me broken. I told her that isn’t the problem and that I’m already broken or I wouldn’t have them in the first place. Then she said that everyone thinks that I’m a whore because I spend most nights with you, but talk to other guys at parties and things. Everyone assumes I’m sleeping with you regularly, but having one night stands as well. I asked if she thought that as well and she just shrugged.”

  “You still haven’t answered my question. But first of all, I’m sure Sophie didn’t mean what she said.”

  “I know. It’s just out of all the things to call me, that one really cuts deep.”

  “I keep the nightmares away?” he frowns at me as he asks this one.

  “Don’t ask me to explain it because I can’t,” I shrug at him. “It’s hard for me to trust anyone, especially men. The only reason I can think of that I don’t have nightmares around you is because if I did, I would have to explain stuff to you and it’s my body’s way of keeping the secret, maybe?” I wonder aloud knowing that it doesn’t matter because I’m going to have to explain it all to him now.

  “So, what are the nightmares about?” he lifts his hands towards me but I flinch back before I can stop myself. He mutters a curse and stands. “You can come in here with someone you don’t even know, but I go to touch you and you act as if I’m going to hurt you, Brooke!” he shouts at me.

  “Do you think it’s easy for me to have to watch the pain I see flicker in your eyes every time I flinch away from you? Because, it’s not. Every time I see that, a small part of me dies, knowing that every time it happens around you, he’s won,” I call back just as loudly.

  “Who’s won?” he’s impatient now.

  “It’s not fair to ask me to remember them,” I whisper as he sits back on the bed by me.

  “Yeah well, it’s not fair for me to know someone has hit you and I don’t even know who it is, or what to do about it,” he tells me softly.